30 August 2011

There's no skating in prison...

My mom said that I am no longer allowed to use the word "bastard" on my blog.  She thinks "bastard" is worse than the f-bomb, which really makes little sense to me.  "Bastard" is merely referencing, albeit somewhat crudely, a person's parentage.  All the while insinuating that the lack of moral aptitude in which said person was conceived is a direct result of said person's derelict behavior.  Bastard, bastard, bastard.  Oh, and she said it seems worse because there are more than four letters in it.  So with that said, I will from this point onward only refer to morally deficient adults and children that irritate me as "little shit" or "satan's spawn".  Does that work for you, Lou?  (Mwahahaha!)  

Moving on... My office was raided by the Feds this week.  This was the second time this has happened since I've been here.  I rather not report details, but let's just say it was an interesting week.  And I very proudly stifled myself from blurting some very sassy phrases at one particular officer with "little man syndrome".  Feds are just wayward miscreant beings that needed a job...I do pity them for having to compensate for the small appendages in their pants though.  It must be exhausting having to act like one to prove you have one.  Ho hum.  

I found this awesome gem of toe guard badassery on Etsy.com yesterday (photo below, obviously).  I want them so badly it kind of hurts a little bit.  I think I will order them if/when I pass my skills test.  These must be worn at my first ever bout.  Pow! is for Power!!  Which I will use to knock some bitches to the ground!!!!

from derbyvixen on etsy.com
I've recovered from whatever illness was trying to kill me last week.  I fought valiantly with a combo of Powerade, Mucinex, and skating until I was soaked through with sweat.  I probably pushed the boundaries of common sense with that last bit, but it seemed to work.  And in three days I accomplished roughly 24 miles worth of greenway skating, and last night added a bonus night of Circus World (there were no "little shits" to shove this time).  Two very cool newbie's joined Amy and I at Circus World...it's rather fun that they are kind of looking up to us and seeking advice as if we are actually full derby skaters...but I will admit we've come a long, long way.  I was just as shaky as they are only two months ago, and have full confidence that they will catch up very quickly.  Sometimes I feel a little like my advancement in skating skills is slowing down a little bit.  I need to figure something out to keep up my momentum and master some things.  It was happening for a while there that every single time I skated, I would master sometime new.  Now I'm feeling like I'm floundering a bit.  Though maybe I've gone a little overboard too...I'm not really resting much in between.  Tonight is a 3 hours of rec league...I've not had a break since Friday.  I'm not sure how to do something like this if I don't do it obsessively though.  Someone is going to have to force me to take a break I suppose...or a fractured/broken/sprained something will do it for me.  Oh snap!

1 comment:

  1. we will take a break Thursday night (after I crawl, art crawl that is). We can do some off skates stuff on Friday or Saturday too if you want!! It will be working toward your derby badassery goal without being on skates!! Sort of a break? Does that count?