Heavenly A'sassin: 25 Questions...

I'm very pleased to introduce y'all to Heavenly A'sassin of Wichita's Roller City Rink Ratz as my very first Junior Derby skater interview!  This fierce warrior has such inspiring, raw talent...just check out her sweet video highlights HERE and you'll see what the future of your leagues will hold.  Wichita is full of some of the most passionate rollergirls I've met (virtually, though I hope to meet them in person one of these days!) and of course this passion reaches into the increasing pool of the under-18 set.  I know what derby has done for my own self-confidence, etc., as an adult, but what an amazing life-expanding experience for young girls getting to grow up being a part of this unconventional sport founded by fearless revolutionaries.

  

Keep the interviews coming, junior skaters...I want to see who's going to be knocking my friends off their rosters!!

Name: Heavenly A'sassin

Number: 21

1. What league(s) are you/have you been affiliated with? 

Roller City Rink Ratz Junior Roller Derby

2. How long have you been skating (derby)? 

One year as of January 2012

3. How did you discover roller derby? 

the movie "Whip It"

4. List your most notable derby injuries? 

Knee/meniscus

5. What was/is your oddest non-derby injury? 

Pencil thru the roof of my mouth

6. How did you select your derby name and number? 

21 is the date of both mine and my little brother's birthday/coach Kissa and my mom helped me brainstorm and ended up with something that's both sweet and sassy

7. When not being a derby badass, what do you do for work (company can be kept anonymous)? 

full time junior high student

8. What are some derby names that you find particularly funny/clever? 

Devouring Donuts, Lil Payne, Lil Red Craving Blood, Dogpile Diva (my big sister!) Subjugater, Gracie Slick, Angel Von Devish, ScotLand A Hit (from Scotland) and Smarty Pants. This was hard because there's sooo many good ones. It's just one of the things that's unique to roller derby.

9. Your non-derby first name? 

Téya Nichelle

10. If you could have chosen your own non-derby name, what would it be? 

Z'Teya...I actually like my first name because it means "precious" but I think "Z" names are unique

11. What are your non-derby hobbies/activities/hidden talents? 

National Academic League, volleyball, playing the viola

12. Do you collect anything, if so, what/why? 

FROGS! I love the color green and my grandpa got me started on frogs

13. What was your favorite Holiday or Birthday present received as a kid?

Last Christmas I got a Team USA roller derby shirt, my roller derby big sister made us a collage of pictures of her and I together that we take at each other's bouts for my birthday, and ScotLand A Hit was super sweet and got me a Team Scotland shirt!

14. Who was the object of your most embarrassing teenage celebrity obsession? 

Taylor Lautner

15. Which celebrity would you like to be friends with? 

Rihanna

16. Do you have Tattoos? What, where, and why? 

not yet ;)

17. What is something that most people don’t know, or would never guess about you?

I'm extremely loyal and I can't stand to see others picked on. I will stand up for others with a quickness.

18. What movie(s) can you watch over and over and never get sick of? 

Love & Basketball, Wuthering Heights (MTV version), Hairspray

19. I can't leave the house without...? 

lipgloss

20. What would I find in your refrigerator right now? 

pomegranate cherry Sobe lifewater and meatloaf

21. What is your most over-used word or phrase? 

"what"

22. What is the last book you've read? 

ModelLand by Tyra Banks

23. Very first set of wheels? 

no special wheels yet but I did get a sweet set of mint green Moonwalk toe stops

24. What is the biggest life hurdle that you

 have overcome? 

being bullied

25. List 3 things that you plan to accomplish in 2012? 

stop biting my nails, not taking things so personally, and spending more time with my little sister and brother

Injured Quick n' Dirty: Lower Body Injury #1

Lower Body Injury: Workout #1

7 min burn: 10 Side Jackknifes on each side, 10 double leg lift, 10 push ups 

(on your knees if you have to, or kneel on a pillow depending on what kind of injury you have. If you cannot put pressure on your knees use a weight to do a dumbbell shoulder press--any kind of weight will do.)

*Do as many rounds in 7 mins as possible

100 Russian twists w/weight

Tabata Side planks-on the knees. 

Alternate every work session with either your right or left side.

20 Sidekicks on each side x2

Tabata Standing Leg Lift

This should be roughly 20 mins. Remember, this is to help you from going stir-crazy and help you burn some calories while you heal. Go at this slowly and enjoy the workout! If you’re unable to do the parts of this QnD that involve putting pressure on your knees, modify it to your needs or double up on something you can do. Enjoy!


-Rambo

Ida HitThat...25 Questions: Stalking Your Favorite Rollergirls

Another awesome skater from Kokeshi Roller Dolls in Okinawa, Japan!!

Name: Ida HitThat

Number: 2times

Photo by KRD

1. What league(s) are you/have you been affiliated with? 

I have only been with Kokeshi Roller Dolls, but when I went back to the states for vacation I got the opportunity to skate with Houston Roller Derby for a few practices

2. How long have you been skating (derby)? 

I have only been on quad skates once before and that was when I was 8 and took them off 30 seconds later. I learned/started to skate Dec of 2010.

3. How did you discover roller derby?

A friend of mine in my spouse group played roller derby back in Nebraska and she was very excited when she found out there was a league here. She talked me into giving it a try.

4. List your most notable derby injuries? 

A large wheel bruise on my butt (showing new girls what not to do, hehe and it lasted about a month. I got large bruise that went from my inner thigh up to my girlie goods and road rash on my leg from taking a hit I did a baseball slide and left a long wet trail (of my flesh and blood) on the tennis court.

5. What was/is your oddest non-derby injury? 

I was running around with my son outside and tripped over something and went flying in the air, in mid air I thought to myself 4pt fall 4pt fall once I got closer to the ground I thought " oh shit, I don't have my pads on! this is going to hurt". it did, my knees still give me a little trouble.

6. How did you select your derby name and number? 

I wanted Ida banged'er but it was taken so then I went with Ida HitThat because I would, 2times because when I announced my name (didn't have a number yet) a girl on the league yelled "two times bitch" and I liked it and it stuck.

7. When not being a derby badass, what do you do for work (company can be kept anonymous)?

I am a domestic engineer, plus derby is my work, I do more than just skate KRD

8. What are some derby names that you find particularlyfunny/clever? 

Inspect'her Gadget (not officially taken), Anida Walker (also a name I considered for myself), Carmen gedit and Thora Lee Incorrigible

9. What is your non-derby first name? 

Mea (pronounced May, short for Meagan)

10. If you could have chosen your own non-derby name, what would it be? 

Shane

Photo by KRD

11. What are your non-derby hobbies/activities/hidden talents? 

painting, sculpting, making diaper cakes and real cakes, working on cars and dancing

12. Do you collect anything, if so, what/why? 

Jack skellington (Nightmare before xmas) collectables, living dead dolls and old currency (aged bills)

13. What was your favorite Holiday or Birthday present received as a kid? 

my BFF in high school got me a preserved black rose that I still have and love very much for valentines day

14. Who was the object of your most embarrassing teenage celebrity obsession? 

Marilyn Manson

15. Which celebrity would you like to be friends with?

Dane Cook

16. Do you haveTattoos? What, where, and why? 

Yes, I have a rose with a tribal background and light blue and purple clouded shadowing the back on my calf, I was young and wanted something so I picked a rose off the wall and over time added my personal touches to make it mine. I have a very large cherry blossom that starts at my low hip and runs all the way up to my shoulder blade on my right side, there are a couple of petals falling from my blossoms that are for the ones I have lost and the cherry blossom tattoo was to resemble how I felt about myself at the time.

17. What is something that most people don’t know, or would never guess about you? 

That a little over a year ago I was over 100lbs heavier than I am now

18. What movie(s )can you watch over and over and never get sick of?

Rocky Horror Picture show,  Jesus Christ Super Star

Photo by KRD

19. I can't leave the house without...? 

my phone and Ipad/Ipod

20. What would I find in your refrigerator right now? 

rockstar recovery drinks (and a lot of em)

21. What is your most over-used word or phrase? 

son of a cracker and Hai

22. What is the last book you've read? 

the WFTDA rules

23. Very first set of wheels?

rainbow radar demons

24. What is the biggest life hurdle that you have overcome?

there are several hurdles in my life, ...well I guess quitting smoking, I was a chain smoker for about 8 years and I have been smoke free for 8 months now

25. List 3 things that you plan to accomplish in 2012? 

get into school, rebuild trust in my marriage, and bulk up my arms a wee bit.

Oddments...

Well, if you've read this site much at all, you'll know that I'm sometimes pretty unabashedly honest about things...this is one of those posts, I'm afraid.

This second leg fiasco has kind of screwed up my head royally.  I've lost a good bit of any kind of self-confidence and last week proceeded to hole up in my house refusing to go out or see anyone for a couple of days. I couldn't look at or think about anything to do with derby, which also meant trying not to talk to or see anyone in derby unless absolutely unavoidable (do you know how hard that is to do?!?!). At any rate...I'm really a jackass and I apologize to anyone who's had to deal with me lately.  I'm fully aware that this is NOT the way to handle an injury!!  

At this point I would usually produce some kind of list of goofy positive things to try to inspire myself and anyone else injured out of our prospective defeated funks.  I've got nothing.  Oh, but wait, I do have this really weird photo collage about getting my cast changed yesterday: complete with wound, hairy leg, and gratuitous expletive.  YESSSSS....

sorry mom, i am not responsible for things people write on my cast.  :)

 
Lesson to be learned here?  Nothing.  I'm working on things... I think it's time to bring out that whole "fake it til you make it" nonsense and pretend this whole thing is just awesome and doesn't bother me at all.  That seems pretty healthy, right?

At some point, we're all going to look back and laugh about this...at that same point, I will be rolling and ramming my hip and shoulder into some bitch's face.  Ahhh...dreams.  

Pixie Howl...25 Questions: Stalking Your Favorite Rollergirls

Featured a while back in Rambo's post "Sam and Allyse...I mean, Rambo and Pixie", I thought it was high time we all get acquainted with this derby badass from Granite State Roller Derby in Concord, New Hampshire!

Name: Pixie Howl

Number: 13

1. What league(s) are you/have you been affiliated with?
Granite State Roller Derby

2. How long have you been skating (derby)?
About 6 months.

3. How did you discover roller derby?
I saw a bout in Philadelphia in summer of 2010 and instantly fell in love with the balance of sexy feminism and pure athleticism. That day I knew I would play. When I moved back to New Hampshire and had time on my hands I finally got my chance.

4. List your most notable derby injuries?
An almost concussion. As well as some really deep bruises shaped like skate parts on my shin and ankle.

5. What was/is your oddest non-derby injury?
I sprained my ankle jump roping in my kitchen.

6. How did you select your derby name and number?
13 was always a give-in, it’s been my number for ever. I also knew I wanted a name with a Pixie connection, and then while watching Howl’s Moving Castle I thought “Hmmm Howl that’s a great word”. Pixie Howl was born.

7. When not being a derby badass, what do you do for work (company can be kept anonymous)?
I work at a K and 1^st grade school as a permanent sub, as well as tutoring part time.

8. What are some derby names that you find particularly funny/clever?
There’s a girl on my league named Whip-it Witch #0z, I love her name! Other than that, I find names that are literary references amusing; they show the world we’re brainy too!

9. What is your non-derby first name?
Allyse

10. If you could have chosen your own non-derby name, what would it be?
My mom almost named me Fae, I would have liked that.

11. What are your non-derby hobbies/activities/hidden talents?
I also run, climb, knit, bake and sew. I’ve found a lot of the mental aspects of running and climbing translate well to derby, as well as the endurance of running. If I can run 10 miles I can spring for 2 more minutes.

12. Do you collect anything, if so, what/why?
I guess I collect yarn. I love all the colors and textures, and I always have more yarn than time to knit but I just love buying that beautiful new hank I fell in love with.

13. What was your favorite Holiday or Birthday present received as a kid?
My uncle gave me this singing mermaid doll one year, it’s really creepy as all get out but I was in love with it! And now I enjoy it because it creeps people out so much.

14. Who was the object of your most embarrassing teenage celebrity obsession?
I didn’t have many as a teenager, but I hate to say I enjoy Twilight, there’s something about its flat out badness I can’t help but like.

15. Which celebrity would you like to be friends with?
Either Zooey Deschanel or Joseph Gordon-Levitt

16. Do you have Tattoos? What, where, and why?
I have 2, the first is a stylized roman numeral 13 on my right upper back, and the second is a blue rose that covers the top of my right foot.

17. What is something that most people don’t know, or would never guess about you?
I am able to recap, in detail, all 6 Jane Austen novels. Also I have never lost a game of Lord of the Rings trivial pursuit.

18. What movie(s) can you watch over and over and never get sick of?
The Princess Bride, Pride and Prejudice (1995), The Little Mermaid, and so many more!

19. I can't leave the house without...?
At least moisturizer on my face (with SPF), earrings, and chap stick/lip gloss.

20. What would I find in your refrigerator right now?
Since I live with my parents and younger brother…A whole lot! Energy drinks, Chinese food, detox soup, a whole lot of cheese.

21. What is your most over-used word or phrase?
Balls! I use it as a curse word to express my displeasure with a situation; I mutter it to myself frequently when fighting through a pack.

22. What is the last book you've read?
Rude Awakening of a Jane Austen Addict.

23. Very first set of wheels?
First set I really loved were Poisons, I put them on the afternoon before my first fresh meat practice.

24. What is the biggest life hurdle that you have overcome?
After spending 6+ years in Philadelphia building a life and a future I had to move back to New Hampshire and my home town to start all over again. It was hard, but with the support of my growing derby family over the past 6 months it’s been getting easier.

25. List 3 things that you plan to accomplish in 2012?
Bring my lap time to 10sec/lap. Learn to be an effective blocker despite my size. And find a job that offers health insurance.

Injured Quick n' Dirty: Upper Body Injury #1

Upper Body Injury - Workout #1

7 mins: 10 squats, 10 leg lifts (each leg), 10 lunges (each leg)

*Do as many rounds in 7 mins as possible

Tabata Jack squats

(w/o the arm swings) alternating with stationary squats

30 heel raises off a step

15 right leg heel raises off a step

15 left leg heel raises off a step

30 heel raises off a step

20 one legged chair squats (20 each leg)

100 Russian Twists (w/o weight)

This should take roughly 20 mins. Go at it slowly especially the 7 min burn. Depending on what kind of upper body injury you have the bouncing and transitions may be too much. Do what you can or change it to fit your needs and ability. Do these in order and take a few minutes to stretch and massage the injured area.  Enjoy!

-Rambo

Celia Graves...25 Questions: Stalking Your Favorite Rollergirls

My great Southern neighbors to the North (yeah, think about that one), Louisville is home to the Derby City Rollergirls!  Who the hell cares about horses, when you've got these bitches on skates claiming the derby name!!  Check them out at http://www.derbycityrollergirls.com/.

Name:  Celia Graves

Number: 6



Photo by Colin Johnson

1. What league(s) are you/have you been affiliated with?

Derby City Rollergirls for 5 years; Cincinnati Rollergirls for 1.

2. How long have you been skating (derby)?

6 Seasons

3. How did you discover roller derby?

I found an article in a local paper stating that a local team was forming.  I was at practice the next day!

4. List your most notable derby injuries?

Not anything exciting.  Just your basic sore knees and blisters, haha.

5. What was/is your oddest non-derby injury?

6th Grade.  Regular Friday night open skate.  I fractured my right wrist while participating in the backward/figure eight speed skate.  To this day, it still pops. ;)

6. How did you select your derby name and number?
Luckily, I was one of the first ones to register, so it wasn't too hard to find one not taken or similar to another one.  Honestly, there isn't any significant meaning behind my name.  I really didn't want anything gimmicky.  So, I went with Celia Graves.

7. When not being a derby badass, what do you do for work (company can be kept anonymous)?
I am a newborn hearing screen supervisor for two hospitals here in Louisville

8. What are some derby names that you find particularly funny/clever?
Some of my faves are Grrr Rawr Rawr, and Either Bunny

9. What is your non-derby first name?
If I told you, I'd have to kill you.

10. If you could have chosen your own non-derby name, what would it be?
Celia ;)

11. What are your non-derby hobbies/activities/hidden talents?
There are other things besides derby?

Photo by Tom Klubens

12. Do you collect anything, if so, what/why?
Yes, I collect buttons from the teams I've played and seen play.  I also collect programs from those games.  It's getting kind of ridiculous.

13. What was your favorite Holiday or Birthday present received as a kid?
Christmas when I was in the 5th grade.  I got my FIRST pair of speed skates from Santa.  Black RS1000's with pink fanjet wheels...

14. Who was the object of your most embarrassing teenage celebrity obsession?
All members of Duran Duran

15. Which celebrity would you like to be friends with?
Kristen Wiig.  Girl is crazy.

16. Do you have Tattoos? What, where, and why?
Yes, I have quite a few.  My most recent one is on my upper arm.  It is a tribute to my favorite movie, Xanadu.

17. What is something that most people don’t know, or would never guess about you?
My real name ;)

18. What movie(s) can you watch over and over and never get sick of?\
Napoleon Dynamite, Taladega Nights, Xanadu, and Wuthering Heights

19. I can't leave the house without...?
My kids.  It's against the law.

20. What would I find in your refrigerator right now?

A ton of bottled water and kid food.

Photo by Tom Klubens



21. What is your most over-used word or phrase?

"Stupid refs.  They need to learn the rules."

22. What is the last book you've read?

Wuthering Heights

23. Very first set of wheels?

Pink Fanjets

24. What is the biggest life hurdle that you have overcome?

Surviving almost 6 season of derby at my age.

25. List 3 things that you plan to accomplish in 2012?

1. World Domination.
2. Helping my team move up in the rankings.
3. World Domination.

Quick n’ Dirty’s For The Gimps

Being injured sucks for many reasons. One reason is that your body can quickly turn to mush. I am very, very thankful to have only had minor “boo boos” from derby.  I, 100% believe my lack of injuries comes from my love of training and building balance among my muscles. EQUALITY FOR ALL!

Recently I found myself with some overuse issues that had me laid up for about 2 weeks. I was starting to go nuts. I eventually experimented some with modified exercises. I tried to figure out different ways to get some kind of a workout in and not cause more harm or prolong my recovery. It was a lovely time of trial and error.

Over the next few weeks I’m going to post a series of “Quick n Dirty: Injured Edition”. If you are not injured or rehabilitating please go back and do some of your favorite QnDs! I have also consulted my teammates and friends for their advice on this subject.  I need to reiterate; I’m by no means a professional. My series of QnDs for the injured are suggestions and alternatives to help you stay motivated and in shape while you’re laid up. If you’re currently being seen by a licensed professional always consult them first. I’m just a derby jock with a hankering for fitness!

-Rambo

Vette City vs. Nashville Recap (BioniKate style)...

So there's this random neighborhood cat that hangs out around the NRG practice facility...it's black-ish and has a rhinestone collar. It's quite friendly...one time I showed up to watch a scrimmage and it was just lounging outside the door looking contentedly bored like a bouncer. I gave it a little pat and was given admittance. I proceeded to ponder what would happen if the cat decided to come in during scrimmage...and then I imagined how horrible it would be to be disemboweled by the skates of a rollergirl in the throes of battle.


This little story obviously has nothing to do with the bout recap. I'm just really having trouble remembering what happened at the bout and the only thing that immediately came to mind was the fact that the cat paid a visit to the dome/warehouse on Saturday while we were assembling a carpool. And I was insanely frustrated that my crutches had been thrown into the back of a vehicle and I couldn't walk, as I had every intention to go all "Lenny Smalls" on the little bastard as I tend to do with small animals. Thwarted again!!!  (Devask8her, yes, I borrowed your Of Mice and Men reference.)


ANYWAY...derby in Bowling Green, Kentucky on Saturday April 14th!  That's why the carpool was being assembled...we were going there...and the cat could not come with us. We had Scenic City of Chattanooga (who borrowed Cindy Lou Ferrigno, Lexee Lawless, and Fire Stormer from NRG) vs. Bowling Green's own Vette City for the first bout, and Nashville Rollergirls vs. Vette City for the second. Check out this really bad Instagrammed photo I took of The Skate Box and it's kitschy rink glamour:

It smells like feet, nachos, and derby (which also redundantly smells like feet...
and sometimes nachos).

Unfortunately, I do not have any other photos of the Scenic City/Vette City match-up to help me remember what happened. Excuse: I was battling a mad case of toddler-brain mixed with slight burger/beer night hangover and just could not pay attention.  Scenic City tried their damnedest though...mad props to those little engines that could-and-would-have-killed-it with a little more experience and training.  It was a good fight though, guys...and I'm sure that really means something coming from the lame-ass who can't even recount the score...sorry!!  What I can thankfully recount: The epic Cindy Lou Ferrigno.  First, I'm partial because she's an NRG...Second, she's a freaking amazing beast with one hell of a can-opener.  At one magic moment, she took a Vette City blocker out hard, and landed with her.  Upon getting up, she not only apologized, but slapped the girl's ass!!  Sure she got called on that...which added to her 7 trips to the box and game ejection, but Cindy Lou is my hero.  I wish I had a picture of the girl's face after that...it was the very epitome of "what the hell just happened?"

we're not even going to mention my stupid face in this pic. 

Onto the next: Vette City Vixens vs. Nashville Brawl Stars (featuring the photography of the very talented Alexandra Lee)...

I was not aware of any awesome ass-smacks in this bout...too bad.  I was, however, parked in the best seat in the house among the most fantastically loud, crass, and half drunk Nashville fans who were full of endless, entertaining commentary and belligerence.  Team Bleacher Awesomeness, you cheered the hell out of that game, and I'm pretty sure successfully maimed the innocence of the children in the vicinity (Daddy, what's a p*ssy?).  Slammy, Fury, Evil, and Slayla; bravo for the fist pumping.   

Hey, I think we're gonna play some derby here in a second.

A Devask8her/Electra Cal ass and jammer sandwich...
brilliant pairing, way to stick with a buddy.

Nashville Brawl stars...you guys pulled it together this time.  You really worked hard as a cohesive unit and managed the penalties so much better than at the Atlanta bout.  YAY you guys!!  Vette City...just WOW.  I admit I didn't really know anything about you, except that Delyria (checkered pants in pic above) is super nice and sells me things at Asphalt Beach Skate Shop.  I now see that you are a formidable team!  Also, girl in the maroon fishnets in the above pic...holy crap are you an effective blocker!  There's really nothing like a well-matched opponent.  So many ties, a handful of lead changes, and nail-biting insanity up until the very last seconds of the game!!  Now I remember why I may have an ulcer...that was intense to watch.


Also why I may have an ulcer... Refs.  I know you're nice people...I know you have a really rough job...I know I couldn't do your job.  But can we take a quick minute here and for the love of derby, God, and all things holy, refresh our memories as to what an 'effing track cut is?!?!?!?  Direct from the WFTDA rules page, section 6 "Penalties".  

6.11 - Cutting the Track

A skater that is in bounds need not yield the right of way to an out of bounds skater. Skaters that are out of bounds must find an entrance back in bounds that does not require in bounds skaters to move. When out of bounds, skaters must re-enter the track without bettering their position in relation to other skaters. Out of bounds skaters are subject to skating out of bounds penalties even if they do not cut the track

That's all I can say...really... I just...I can't say any more without requiring some Tums or something.  GAHHH!!  While I'm simmering down, let's look at some more photos!

Look at fierce little Rocco Sock'em about to put the beat down on Taylor Swift...yeah #99 (Anne Bones), I'm talking about you!  I may learn to like Taylor Swift if she can hit like Bones does...that girl is crazy!

Doom vs Nitro

Special Jammer highlights...Nashville's Stella Live and Dani Doom vs. Vette's Wolf Pack of 1 and Lil' Nitro. I really wish I could remember specific jams now...stupid me with an untouched notebook in my bag meant to be used to write this post...FAIL.  I do remember the feeling of pride I had watching Doom rally and steadily pick off points little by little to keep the game close or tied.  Juke master, that one. Some of those Vixens didn't even see her until she was already through and on her way for a second scoring pass. Stella is quickly finding her niche as a jammer...her speed has increased and her fight through a wall has gotten more determined.  I also just love her obvious enthusiasm when something works well for her.  Vette's Wolf Pack of 1 is nearly unstoppable.  She joined Nashville in a pre-season bout earlier this year and I noticed then too, her method of intelligently anticipating hits and navigating small pack fissures.  And Lil' Nitro who seems to have the more daring approach of assertive blocking while jamming and jumping over the carnage.  (Hey, this almost sounded kind of coherent!)


Tied into the last jam, Vette City blasted out 3 points and quickly called it off for the win.  Final Score 140 Vette City, 137 Nashville.


As always, there are so many more people I should, could, would mention...but I'm over this post already.  Ann T Histamine, not really sure what's happening here (below), but you're pretty fantastic, even as road kill.      

The End.